“The secret of all victory lies in the organization of the non-obvious.” ― Marcus Aurelius

This guide ― reviews Marcus Aurelius’ directions regarding self-control/ discipline ― for the intention of; using what is in your control and being able to apply yourself to live life in line with what is most important to you.

🏛️ Why listen to Marcus Aurelius?

Marcus Aurelius is a Roman emperor and philosopher ruling from 161 to 180 AD. 1

Famously daubed ‘the last of the five Good Emperors’. 1

He constructed a series of private notes to himself known as the ‘meditations’.

These meditations are some of the fundamental works of stoicism.

Stoicism?

Stoicism’s Philosophy- Pursuit of self-mastery, perseverance, and wisdom. 2

💭 Marcus Aurelius’ General Philosophy

“Very little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself in your way of thinking.” ― Marcus Aurelius 3:

His general philosophy can be categorized into these broad themes:

🔹 Understanding that time is limited

🔹 Coming to terms with others’ failures

🔹 Rising above momentary excitement

🔹 Embracing nature and its course

This guide will focus on his theories regarding discipline.

⚙️ Discipline Makes Your Life Easier

Why use discipline?

“There were two vices much blacker and more serious than the rest: lack of persistence and lack of self-control… persist and resist.” ― Marcus Aurelius

Mastering a degree of self-control allows one to use time in line with one’s priorities and aspirations.

Ultimately, acting disciplined (in line with one’s long-term goals rather than chasing the closest dopamine hit) support a much more fulfilled life experience and a positive relationship with oneself and others.

I have identified the following 4 themes in his work on discipline and self–mastery.

📌 Focusing on What You Can Control

“The more we value things outside our control, the less control we have.” ― Marcus Aurelius

Separating what is in one’s control and what is Not―

▶️ Not blaming oneself for results primarily the result of factors out of one’s control.

▶️ Not comparing results that to one another that had different facilitating and obstructing factors.

▶️ Not agonizing with ‘what might have been’ if one’s own past actions would have been different.

▶️ Zeroing in on aspects under one’s influence, whether guaranteed direct influence or not.

▶️ Overcoming hurdles and reaching goals – with strategies taking full advantage of what is in one’s power.

🔓 Dichotomy of Control

This is consistent with the Stoic idea of the dichotomy of control.

In a nutshell, the dichotomy of control focuses on reinforcing to yourself what is in your control and embracing what is out of your control. Its aim is to manage mental turmoils in order to operate with certainty and efficiency.

The idea is simplified in the following wording:

Are you facing a struggle?

NO→ then don’t agonize and carry on. YES

Can you do something about it?

YES→ then don’t agonize and do something about it. NO→ then don’t agonize and carry on.

🎮 Accepting Your in Control

Part of his philosophy is to take responsibility for one’s own influence, rather than living with a narrative where one’s situation is the product of external circumstances alone.

It can be tempting to ascribe happenings to factors out of one’s control as this strips one of accountability.

This does however make one a passive subject to external circumstances and eliminates the possibility for growth, advancement, or accountability.

Refusing to accept one’s own influence is a way of life guided by fear and one incapable of progress, creativity, or contending.

Accepting one’s own control is a courageous way of taking responsibility and essential to be an active contender, that oneself and others can rely on.

“True good fortune is what you make for yourself. Good fortune: good character, good intentions, good actions.” ― Marcus Aurelius

🌊 Emotional Mastery

Aurelius places importance on what many would argue to be an essential part of self-control: emotional mastery.

Many behaviors people would retrospectively classify as counterproductive, irrational, inefficient and not in line with their goals, are often the results of ‘giving in’ to emotional temptations, emotionally overamplified threads, or the succumbing to mental loops.

The Mediation’s directions on emotional mastery can be placed into two themes: Angle of Perception and Taking Responsibility.

🎛️ Angle of Perception

“It’s all in how you perceive it. You’re in control. You can dispense with misperception at will, like rounding the point. Serenity, total calm, safe anchorage.“ ― Marcus Aurelius

Reminding oneself that there are very different angles to view a situation, struggle, or aim.

Regardless of the situation at focus, the likelihood is high that there are several contrasting perspectives to view it from.

Feeling into a different perspective often evokes and debunks emotions that might have been staggering from one perspective. Changing perspective is a uniquely effective tool to discredit fear, anxieties, or temptations that might have been clouding one’s rational thinking.

Aurelius also pushes the idea that changing perspective and not acting out of momentary emotion, puts oneself in control, rather than subject to temporary perspectives.

💡 Taking Responsibility

“Today I escaped from anxiety. Or no, I discarded it, because it was within me, in my own perceptions; not outside.” ― Marcus Aurelius

“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.” ― Marcus Aurelius

Self-pity is temptation. Self-pity creates a narrative where one is the blameless victim succumbed to ruthless circumstances. It eliminates gratitude, resilience, or responsibility.

“You don’t have to turn this into something. It doesn’t have to upset you.” – Marcus Aurelius

Learning to take responsibility for one’s reaction to external and internal occurrences promotes internal security, emotional stability and increased likelihood that plans are realized.

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.” ― Marcus Aurelius

Taking responsibility in an emotional context can be practiced by asking oneself either of the following questions when experiencing emotional derailing:

Would I tell someone I love that this emotional narrative is in line with their priorities?

NO→ then discard the emotion narrative and act out of rational intuition. YES→ then identify the thread, void, or opportunity behind the emotion and identify possible solutions.

OR

Is this emotional narrative motivated by pain?

NO→ then discard the emotion narrative and act out of rational intuition. YES→ then identify the thread, void, or opportunity behind the emotion and identify possible solutions.

Unrelated to Aurelius, but nevertheless on theme is a quote I like:

‘I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself.’ — D.H. Lawrence

👁️‍🗨️ Wider Perspective

“Even the smallest thing should be done with reference to an end. Identify task at hand instead of getting distracted by current circumstances, emotions, temptations.” ― Marcus Aurelius

Many argue one of the most fundamental components of self-control is not to be discouraged or lead astray by current circumstances. This requires trust in one’s own intuition that momentary states cannot knock the bottom out of. Mastering a winder perspective guided by one’s long-term priorities is one of the highest form of self-control.

“Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong is its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.” ― Marcus Aurelius

🥄 Practice Voluntary Hardship

Marcus Aurelius suggests practicing voluntary hardship in order to build discipline.

“We should discipline ourselves in small things, and from their progress two things of greater value. If you have a headache practice not cursing” – “I am not saying that you can’t complain, only don’t complain with your whole being” ― Marcus Aurelius

The idea that discipline can be trained has been supported by research. If practicing voluntary hardship makes being disciplined easier in the future, it would certainly pay off and make it a reasonable exercise. For one this study found that having reaffirming experiences of, for example having practiced discipline, increases the likelihood of repeating this type of behavior in the future4,5.

Related: How to ‘Cure’ Perfectionism

References:


  1. (McLynn, 2010) https://www.amazon.co.uk/Marcus-Aurelius-Warrior-Philosopher-Emperor/dp/1844135276/ Jump back up to sentence in which this source was referenced: ↩︎

  2. (Van Natta, 2019) https://www.amazon.co.uk/Beginners-Guide-Stoicism-Resilience-Positivity/dp/1641527218/ Jump back up to sentence in which this source was referenced: ↩︎

  3. (Aurelius, 1558) https://www.amazon.co.uk/Meditations-Penguin-Classics-Marcus-Aurelius/dp/0140449337/ Jump back up to sentence in which this source was referenced: ↩︎

  4. (Mercado et al., 1998) https://link.springer.com/article/10.3758/BF03199213 Jump back up to sentence in which this source was referenced: ↩︎

  5. (Colombetti & Dorigo, 1994) https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/105971239400200302 Jump back up to sentence in which this source was referenced: ↩︎