Why do some feel overwhelmed in the same situation that others feel energized in? And how can we use this to our advantage?

Emotional reactions are often learned patterns set off at certain stimuli. These vary greatly from person to person and research suggests that they can be re-trained.

🔦 Why Does the Brain Create Emotional Patterns?

The human brain has a unique ability to not only recognize patterns but to use them to memorize and practice sequences.

After hearing a song once, we are able to recognize it years later, hear it several times, and we can predict sound elements to considerable precision.

Our ability for pattern recognition became increasingly sophisticated during human evolution, as the result of expansion of the cerebral cortex 1.

We subconsciously read and replay learned patterns in domains such as the way we complete tasks, perceive things and categorize.

Once we have learned and memorized a pattern of behavior such as swimming the breaststroke, we are able to let a process of automation replay this learned pattern, freeing up conscious attention and brain power.

For example, the initial practice of riding a bike, buttoning a shirt, or handwriting might take significantly more conscious focus, concentration and brain power. Once these tasks have been practiced a fair amount and the brain has recognized response patterns it is able to automate them.

Evidence suggests that the brain does not only memorize patterns for tasks but also learns emotional reaction patterns to some stimuli at least.

🔬 One Science Explanation

Learning happens when separate neural (brain cells) networks connect. For a neuron to communicate with another neuron, it sends out neural hormones which are then absorbed by receptors on the receiving neuron.

Now to get to the point, the more a certain neurohormone is released onto a neuron, the more receptor sites will grow2.

According to this, brain cells become more efficient in what we use them for. This would mean that practicing a lot of a certain reaction, such as avoidance, makes it easier to react with that emotion to a similar stimuli in the future. The same would be true for practicing more desired emotions such as gratitude or optimism, making it easier to practice those in the future.

However, more fundamental emotional reactions such as anger or joy seem to be significantly less easily consciously maneuvered which is what makes them so trustworthy.

While the degree to which fundamental emotional reactions might be significantly conditioned during childhood, they might still be usually more set and significantly less easily influenced than other emotional reactions such as self-pity or emotional reaction patterns to specific situations.

Some theorize that tears have evolved as a social signal mainly powerful because they are in the vast majority of cases not fabricable. 3

Our learned reactions, attitudinal behavior and emotional importance placed on different things vary greatly from person to person and while it is debated about how much of these originate in nature or nurture, the part influenced by nurture, of which there seems to be a substantial part, seems to be significantly more absorbent during particular periods such as childhood.

One reason for people being more absorbent or easily influenced during childhood is the more constant forming and reforming of neural pathways in the brain (neural plasticity) during early childhood, making it easier to learn and unlearn processes such as habits or patterns of thinking 4.

What’s more, evidence also highlights the uniquely potent influence a trusted individual can have.

🎏 Example Beats Exposure

The forming of thinking patterns and emotional reactions seems to be substantially influenced by the example of a trusted person, rather than environmental exposure.

For example, someone not understanding this might predict that a person who grew up in an environment with a lot of animals would be more likely to feel empathy with animals in general.

However, the degree of exposure does not seem to be the deciding factor.

While one individual who spent time around a veterinarian facility as a child and perceived the person they trust to approach animals with empathy, might be more likely to overly regard an animal’s state when interacting with animals.

While another individual who grew up in a farm environment and perceived the person they trust to approach animals with primary concern for the product the animals can provide might be less likely to overly prioritize the animal’s state when interacting with animals.

Both individuals might have had equal levels of exposure to animals, but this alone does not determine their reactions.

Instead, they were influenced by the example of the person they trust and the emotional, attitudinal and behavioral patterns they displayed to the stimuli.

Yet, these learned emotional reaction patterns seem to be re-trainable with, for example, conflicting attitudinal frames.

In this way, learned emotional reaction patterns seem to be able to be consciously influenced to some extent at least.

Say for example the individual that grew up around the veterinarian has also adopted an attitude of goal-oriented time prioritization from that same trusted person they observed to approach animals with empathy.

This individual might consciously decide to not give in to the impulse of empathy with the neighbor’s cat and spend daily time bringing it snacks, as this is not in line with their attitude of time prioritization.

Practicing this repeatedly seems to have an opposite reaffirming effect and subdue this impulse, for example balancing their empathy impulse for animals with their adopted attitudes or priorities.

Emotional reaction patterns can make or break your ability to have resilient contentment in circumstances otherwise devastating to someone else. They can facilitate or hinder your capability to connect with individuals most important to you. They can be the initial catalyst of hindering emotional turmoils or the robust path to avoiding them.

With the understanding that emotional reaction patterns can be consciously influenced, what is the most effective way of training your own emotional patterns to align with your core priorities?

🔑 How to Retrain Emotional Patterns

Evidence suggests the most effective way to re-train your emotional reaction patterns can be categorized into three steps:

  1. 1️⃣ Recognize
  • acknowledge the trigger, main part and result of the pattern
  1. 2️⃣ Justify replacement
  • realize the conflicting unnecessary elements of the current pattern and their inconsistency with an adopted attitude/ priority
  1. 3️⃣ Create new pattern
  • develop an efficient pattern that can maneuver your emotions to a place in line with your priorities
  1. 4️⃣ Reaffirm new pattern
  • consistently practice new reactionary patterns to stimuli

👁️‍🗨️ Recognize

The trick is to tune in and recognize our own recurring reactions. If we actively start looking at our thoughts, triggered emotions and actions, it becomes easier to see similarities with past behavior and recognize the patterns.

This means realizing the trigger that sets your counter-productive emotional pattern off. This could be a part of a routine, a particular circumstance repeatedly occurring or facing a combination of particular prompts that activates initial fears/temptations.

Acknowledge the initial emotions that arise from this trigger behavior and the habitually chosen response to the initial emotions. For example, reacting to a frightening emotion with avoidant behavior instead of maneuvering into constructive pathways.

Finally, recognize the final place or cycle that this current emotional pattern is reliably leading you to.

Each step of the emotional pattern and its result should be fully realized for the retraining process to succeed.

📇 Justify Replacement

To allow for the replacement of the current emotional pattern, form a rationale. To stay on track, even in times of less will-powered discipline, it is most effective to mentally justify to oneself how the old emotional pattern was not in line with a core attitude one holds.

To do this, pinpoint the counterproductive emotional stages and resulting behaviors. Relies specifically on how these are not in line with a priority/attitude that you consciously decide to hold.

🖌 Create New Pattern

When creating new emotional patterns it is important not to fantasize an ideal hyper-optimized emotional reaction pattern.

While yes, you might manage to pull this idealized pattern through once or twice, this is actually self-sabotaging. Idealized patterns require a high degree of willpower and it is a certain reality that one will not have full access to will-powered discipline each time these emotional patterns are triggered.

Especially, if your pattern is triggered because of fear/risk avoidance, a durable new pattern that required little to no willpower is especially helpful.

Say, for example, your newly designed pattern requires too much willpower to be practiced more often than not, you create negative reaffirming experiences of not having succeeded in the new pattern and going back to the counterproductive old pattern.

Therefore, the most effective way to design a new emotional reaction pattern is in such a way that it deals with the underlying emotions, strategically rather than relying on willpower.

Identify the underlying emotions that drove the old patterns and incorporate these in an action plan.

For someone who recognized, for example, that their pattern is to react to a triggering emotion with self-doubting catastrophizing spirals, it would be strategically effective to instead respond with a hope-inducing activity.

💠 Reaffirm New Emotional Reaction Pattern

Similar to how the original unwanted pattern had been learned and automated, the newly designed one can be too.

Just like riding a bike, in the beginning, it will require more deliberation, concentration and conscious effort but will get easier with practice until it is finally successfully internalized and automated.

To avoid unnecessary frustration, it is good to calmly expect that one will go back to one’s old emotional pattern at times.

Anticipate that this will inevitably happen and when it does acknowledge that this is part of the process.

It is only important that one practices the new pattern more often than the old patterns to be on the stable path to incorporating and automating the new emotional reaction pattern.

References

  1. (Mattson, 2014) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4141622/ Jump back up to sentence in which this source was referenced: ↩︎

  2. (Zhang el al., 2013) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3548736/ Jump back up to sentence in which this source was referenced: ↩︎

  3. (Balsters et al., 2013) https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/147470491301100114 Jump back up to sentence in which this source was referenced: ↩︎

  4. (Schlaug et al., 2009) https://nyaspubs.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1749-6632.2009.04842.x Jump back up to sentence in which this source was referenced: ↩︎